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First Comes Self Love, Then Comes Marriage


If I had a nickle for every time a relative questioned me about my love life. I’d have $303.24. Seriously, every encounter, and family function I get these questions:

“Do you have boyfriend?”

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” … “So you’re gay?”

Or my favorite:

“You just need to put yourself out there. ”

Some of my family members can’t accept the fact that I’m not born into this world to mate. I have a purpose that goes beyond finding a relationship. If I can’t be happy with myself, being with someone will not help me in anyway (I’m looking at you Aunty).
Continue reading “First Comes Self Love, Then Comes Marriage”

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Fortune Thy Name is Netflix

I’ve had the despair novelty of adulting these past few months. Such adulting activities include: moving into a new home (by my lonesome), paying all of my own bills (minus healthcare ’cause ridiculous), and fixing several car issues with my paycheck (which I receive monthly).


All these things has made me rather reflective of the past year. In fact, it’s almost been a year since my college graduation. Like most people, I find it difficult not to look on Facebook and compare my achievements since May 2016 with others of my class. And truly, honestly, I’m not all that concerned with who’s having a baby, getting  married, or just bought a car. But I can’t stop myself from questioning my own goals.

More importantly, what do I want going forward? Are my current decisions and mindset setting me up to accomplish my future , long term goals?

Answer: I don’t know.


I’ve realized it’s okay that I don’t know. I’m young, single, and smart, all of which are ingredients for indecision and exploration. Because my generation puts so much emphasis on instantaneous success we don’t allow room for  f%$@ ups along the way. And that’s dangerous. I’m not saying everything I’ve achieved has failed, but if I change my mind about enrolling in grad school, or decided to become a trapeze artist–so what?

What is happiness, success, or fortune if you can’t be flexible, adaptable, and happy with change? My grandma used to say “Man plans and God Laughs”. Life is too fluid to be as rigid as a billboard. Currently, having a productive day at work and watching Netflix is good enough for me. I can’t be problematic about things that haven’t happened. And I’m sure, if I’m passionate enough, I’ll get to where I’m going.