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First Comes Self Love, Then Comes Marriage


If I had a nickle for every time a relative questioned me about my love life. I’d have $303.24. Seriously, every encounter, and family function I get these questions:

“Do you have boyfriend?”

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” … “So you’re gay?”

Or my favorite:

“You just need to put yourself out there. ”

Some of my family members can’t accept the fact that I’m not born into this world to mate. I have a purpose that goes beyond finding a relationship. If I can’t be happy with myself, being with someone will not help me in anyway (I’m looking at you Aunty).

Now don’t get me wrong, if my soulmate just happens to happen, I won’t be completely against the idea of a relationship. However, I don’t see myself jumping head first into something so sentient.

I’m sure I’m not the only one feeling the pressure.  It’s okay to be by yourself, especially if you aren’t in a place were you feel comfortable with who you are.

I’m also not talking s#$% about people who want to go out there and find the “one”. However, I find that dating and romance in general, becomes a lot less fun for those fiercely looking. There’s nothing romantic about desperation, and I don’t find bitterness all that appealing either.

I have so much more to discover about myself before I’m ready to be ‘that’ person. Love is found in unexpected ways and I don’t want to spend all my waking hours trying to expect it. That defeats the whole process.


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